Unedited conversations between artist in a productive critique discovering thesis and processes behind the work.
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Conversation between Kirk Jenkins and Olivia Ramos.
RAMOS: Hi Kirk, thank you for joining me again
I was showing your work to a friend of mine and we were in awe over "FullSizeRender"
Thank You I appreciate that.
I was telling her how these are drawings, and more importantly, drawing that come from within
there is nothing you are observing while you work
the fact that these are drawings and not pictures is pretty amazing
can you tell me a little about the process?
Well; The whole process begun about 5 - 6 months ago. And what took place - was a morning ritual, which consisted of me walking down to the beach, swimming out to the furthest can, holding my breath and swimming to the bottom of the ocean. where I would lay flat on my back, eyes open, consciously allowing gravity to bring me back to the surface, completely letting of mind and any attempt to control the moment - I would look up, and like a video camera - allow every single intricacy and detail of the ocean to be absorbed into my subconscious. I would repeat this process over and over, trusting that what ever was to meant to be instilled with in me would.
I have a hard time swimming where my feet don't touch the sand. Did you feel any fear at any point, perhaps during the first few times?
Bless you love. Well firstly, I'm grateful for the fact that I grew up in Australia. In a little beach town called Cronulla - I was introduced to the Ocean and water from the day I was born. That was and has always been my first home, love and place of discovery and peace. So as for the water, no not so much scared - this Mediative process was more a focus and practice of surrendering thus letting go of my minds need to try and control.
I am inspired, I too grew up by the Ocean, in Cuba, but when I go in a little deeper than normal, I feel like it will take me in forever. I have been craving swimming out and letting whatever might happen happen, but have not taken action towards it.
when you do this, what exactly are you surrendering?
I would be more than happy to take you. I am surrendering to the universe, nature and the unknown.
lets do it before the winter comes
you are surrendering to the universe - yes - but my question is what are you surrendering
yes. Ha Ha! Miami is always summer.
I am surrendering the need to control the moment and the outcome of the process.
why is that need there in the first place?
My only assumption - would be, that the mind / egos primary job is to protect the human vessel and possibly the soul. And In trying to do so - it will at what ever cost act accordingly, hence trying to control all that is happening and going o. Weather perceived or real.
(Going on) spell check.. ha ha control!
is the ego trying to protect it's vessel or protect itself ?
Even better question and thus point! Well I'm not going to bluff and act like I know or have all the answers. But I'd say its quite possibly what you've just articulated.
do you believe that the ego, in it's journey to control, tries to debilitate ... lets call it your higher self?
Oh for sure. But as I just described earlier, I truly believe that it thinks what its doing is right.
sure, it is simply trying to survive
The same as a mother trying to protect her knew born. She will go to absolutely every and any length to insure that Child's safety. And In many cases her actions and behaviors will not be that of the balanced, rational kind.
yes that happens all the time, but I would argue that is not ego, that is quite the opposite
I might have misunderstood, you are comparing the ego protecting itself to the mother protecting her child
I don't believe that to be ego either. I'm purely talking about the similarities between the instinctual and survival mechanics of the ego and the mother. For isn't the ego really trying to play mother.. or God after all?
not sure the ego recognizes God at all
I'm pretty sure the ego only sees itself
alright, so we have deviated a bit - back to your process - the idea is to let go or surrender in order for the desire to control to be removed, or rather to reduce the power of the ego over you?
Sure. And so if Ego thinks it is all that is, and believes it controls everything - Then weather "it" The Ego knows it or not, is trying to play God.
ok in a way you are saying that the Ego thinks it is God
maybe I am saying that
either way, that is a pretty crazy thing to think...don't you think?
And to briefly add to that: From all the research I have done on abstract expressionism. That was the main objective of the early artists who created that form or medium of expression. To completely by pass the ego and thus surrender the need to know the out come.
does it feel like freedom?
I'm done thinking. it's exhausting. ha ha
Yes. in a momentary and general kind of way. It is like a feeling of freedom.
then by definition are we incarcerated by the ego?
ooh. Thats a tough one! You've got me there.
ok ok ok we can end it there if you'd like